question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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