you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
