Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
