i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
