I must be too annoying 4 u.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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