remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
