ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
