After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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