you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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