My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
