you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
