found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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