You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
