His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
