My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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