its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
