I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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