Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
