Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
