his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just invented taco cereal.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
