whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
