Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
