Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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