The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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