It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize