Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Randomize
