In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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