do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
