the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
