i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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