I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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