You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
