So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
