I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
vagina is talking i cant
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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