i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize