idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
