is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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