Can i not drive my cunt home
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
