Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
