My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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