Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize