I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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