funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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