HIV tests are more positive than that guy
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
