my being single is dangerous.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
