Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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