just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
