so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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