I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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