Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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