we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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