is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sorry about my life...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
