Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
