I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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