I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
