Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
