I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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