I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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