hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
