Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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