I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
