Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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