I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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