i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
